After we arrived on beautiful Bonaire, Marieke started working in the hospital, the kids went to school and I finally had time to just sit and digest it all. My world imploded. I felt alone, insecure, jealous, frustrated, weak and impatient, all at the same time. There was a general negative mood accompanied by waves of intense emotions. I was constantly afraid to loose Marieke, afraid for the cancer to reoccur and finally to die at young age. Furthermore it led to being scared and uncomfortable in large groups and around new people. These feelings led to very complicated conversations between us and turned into unfair quarrels, sleepless nights and anger. I can assure you that this is not what we expected after being just married and having moved to a paradise island.

Then we started kiteboarding. We found a common activity that was new, exciting and challenging to us both. Taking lessons together encouraged us. Being at the kite beach made us more relaxed and introduced us to a fun and friendly new community. It brought a new topic in our lives that did not have an emotional load. It was just great fun and we fell in love with it. Kiteboarding became my best friend, my passion, my psychotherapist and my mindfulness teacher. Kiteboarding gave me hope, freedom and pride. Out on the water, I had moments alone without feeling lost and scared. Kiteboarding made me feel mentally stronger, happier, more social and more confident. It helped to improve our life together as a family.